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My therapist hit the nail on the head today. Now what do I do? (reddit.com)
My therapist said something to me today that really made me take pause and mentally say holy shit. “You haven’t been in a safe and nurturing environment, so you haven’t been able to spread your wings and fly.” (Something along those lines) She used an adage of a little girl who is running in front of her mother, and every time she looks back, her mother is there so she feels safe and happy to run ahead because she know her mother will be there when she returns. Conversely, someone who’s been abandoned by their parents or anyone they love, is looking back and seeing no one, so they’re scared to go forward. All of these bells and whistles went off in my head. My parents have not been in my life since I was a child, so I never received any kind of encouragement or strength from them, nor the foster families I lived with, and my grandmother who raised me from 12-17 yo, never pushed me to be to be anything but extraordinarily average. She used to say to me, if you want to dig ditches for a living, that’s okay because someone has to. And of course I repeated this with men who didn’t encourage me to do anything, and then three failed marriages with men who repeated the pattern. I have had some wonderful people come into my life at different times who were supportive and pushed me to be my best self, and I did thrive then. Today, I finally understand why I never finished college (twice) or retake my personal trainer cert. exam that I failed, or why I didn’t enroll in culinary school like I’ve wanted to since I was a kid. It’s because I didn’t have a consistent support network (especially family) around me telling me I can do it, and that they’d be at my graduation or whatever. I am not the kind of person who can just go out and do something just for me. I like having people to share my accomplishments with, or to share my journey with. I realize now that I need to work on taking care of me and my future and helping myself learn to thrive and become whatever it is I want to be and that I’ll be doing it mostly alone and that IT’S OKAY. Now, time to start changing 40 years of behaviors that haven’t helped me but have held me back from my potential. Thanks for reading submitted by /u/11_29_77 [link] [comments]