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I've died 5 times and feel robbed of life (reddit.com)
I didn't know where to put this but I guess I just wanted to put my story out there. I'm currently 28 years old, male, married with a stepson and I love my wife and son so much, but I feel robbed of my dreams. (NOT by them in the tiniest bit) Some background. I grew up in one of the most violent city's in America, my parents were extremely religious and I was homeschooled/self taught most of my life. My dad was an alcoholic for most of my early years. Though after the first incident he stopped drinking, not that it helped. I was molested when I was a child by a neighbor who used to come over. Elvis (probably 19-20 at the time, I was maybe 10, (Idk his last name) used to come over to play on our trampoline. One day he asked me to play truth or dare....i didn't know any Beter. Eventually he was caught and Idk anything happened other than I never saw him at our house again. When I was 13 we came home from church. I bought a sub after my paper route, got home and was almost beaten to death by my father for not being hungry enough to eat a sandwich my mom had made me. I called the cops and he was arrested, they told me if I didn't lie and say I'd made it up they'd put me into the foster system where I'd be rapped. (Again) Idk that the judge bought it. My dad got a year probation. After this my life was hell. I spent from 15-18 living mostly on the streets of this city. Only seeing my parents when I had no other option or to ensure that my schooling paperwork and such was filed. I kept up on my own education (I honestly don't know how) working any job I could. Eventually at 17 I got a great job at target and At 18 I got a state issued diploma. Things looked up for once. And then in August of 2008 I got incredibly sick. When I say incredibly sick I mean I spent 2 weeks unable to even drink water curled up on my detested parents couch. I honestly still wonder if They wanted me to die then and there. by the time I went into the hospital I was hours from irreversible septic shock, 5' 11" and 113 pounds. 2 weeks prior I was 165 pounds and very healthy. I walked almost 20 miles a day and literally camped in a tent for those years. In the following 6 weeks I was diagnosed with a MRSA abcess inside my kidney and died 5 times. I should mention I was born with a neurological disorder (CMT Charcot Marie Tooth) which in conjunction with the extreme muscle loss from my illness left me unable to even walk 100 feet. I lost my job and my family by and large kicked me out again. I was back camping in the woods for the next 3 year's. Honestly most of its a nightmarish blur of drugs and pain, I hobbled around with a cain and rebuilt the muscle on most of my body. However my ankles remain to this day at about 90° inward angles due to atrophy and shortened tendons. It took my 36 months but eventually I got my ssdi and ssi. I legitimantly couldn't work. Since I got my ssdi I got into college for organic chemistry and biology but was unable to afford completing it. I spent 2 years paying my parents 500 bucks a month for the privilege of sleeping on the floor of a room in their house until I met the love if my life. That's a whole other story but we now live together with her son in what I consider my first true home. She's shown me what it means to be loved and I'll forever be grateful for my amazing woman. BUT for all this in now 28, permanently disabled and it feels like I never stood a chance to persue anything other than survival, and laitly iv just been left wondering why tf I'm even here. Why did all this happen to me only to end up collecting a check and not really accomplishing anything.... Idk if anyone will even have read this far. If you have though, thank you. I just wanted my story out there, all I really want in life is to have made even one person's life Beter, to be of use. And maybe reading this will in some way help somone. submitted by /u/depressed_annon [link] [comments]